Another sleepless night in LA.

Well, it was another long night. I went to sleep at 10 pm , was awake at 12:30am, 1:30am, 3:00am and finally got up at 5:00am. This always makes for a very long day. It felt like my feet were in an ant pile or something, they burned on the toes. It was very uncomfortable. I take Requip for restless leg syndrome but this was different. I will take a nap today it the urge hits me. I woke myself up a couple of times hollowing and cursing. See this is the thing, I don't curse. My kids go into shock if one slips. I used to tell family members that was upset because "moma or daddy never would have said that", that I was bottling up all my frustration and when I got old and in a nursing home I too was going to let loss. I had hoped this would make them laugh and not feel so bad about their parents. I knew that mom and dad were not themselves and it did not bother me. I hope when I get that point people are understanding of me. I know it can hurt love ones feelings to hear some of the things their parents/spouse say. There is really no way to prepare for this, it is human nature to be hurt when someone attacks you. Only now I realize that may be a reality and it scares me. I don't want to be one of those folks that makes other people sad or upset but my actions. I don't want to upset my family. I know I will have no control over it but it does not stop me from worrying about that being a big problem. Well I will close for now. This was on my mind and if I did not write it down while I was thinking of it I would forget it. Later.