Tuesday, May 8, 2007

mom is harder on herself

mom always thinks we are going to see her as less then the strong independant women she has always been. Mom we see you as we always have seen you, Yes we are aware you are having more and more problems with the alzheimers. We look beyond the desease to see our mom, our friend. You think we can't cope with the truth, you taught us to be strong women, now let us to be strong for you. I'm not saying it's not sad when we see how far the desease has progressed, but if you let us in we can deal with it as a family, it is when you push us away that we stand there helpless to do anything. We all deal with your desease in different ways, we all can help you though this mom, let us help in the way we deal. You are so stuborn some times you think you still have to do everything by yourself, you don't realize letting people help does not make you weak, it shows courage, and trust that you can lean on us. some times we don't know what to do because we always seem to get it wrong. so we stand back and wait for you to say o.k. now you can help. life doesn't need to be any harder then it already is, enjoy life, let us make momories we can carry with us in the years to come, momories we can pull up like a movie playing in our brain to show us that we let you know exactly how much we love you and we did every thing we could to make this journey just a little bit more easier for you to live with.
you and daddy have taken care of so many kids in your lives, now is the time to just enjoy each other.

Dealing

I have to say that I am so excited that my mom has found this outlet for expression. I am glad momma has found some other people that she can share with, that can understand where she is coming from. We (I) don't always understand how to act or react. Maybe because I am the stubborn one that doesn't want to read about it (Alzheimers). I just keep saying that I will deal with it as it comes, why know ahead of time what we are going to deal with. I knew that momma was uncomfortable on Saturday when we went to painting classes. But she didn't need to be because to me it wasn't about how our pictures turned out, it was that I was there with my mom and daughter. It was a great experience and made for some good memories. I love you momma and am very proud of how you are trying to help others.

Coach Broyles

Coach Frank Broyles, athletic director for Univ. of Ark. lost his wife of 59 years to Alzheimer's last Oct. He has written a book, Coach Broyles' Playbook for Alzheimer's Caregivers: A Practical Tips Guide. Also he has included a poem I would like to post:

Do not ask me to remember.
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you,
To be with me at all cost.

Do not loss your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting.
I can't be different thought I try.

Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me,
Love me 'til my life is done.

-Author Unknown

If we were loving people before the disease why do people think we turn into these monsters after the disease have taken over. It is not US. IT IS THE DISEASE. Be upset with the disease not us. We are all we can be. Thanks "K" and "Jeanne" for your commments.