mom is harder on herself

mom always thinks we are going to see her as less then the strong independant women she has always been. Mom we see you as we always have seen you, Yes we are aware you are having more and more problems with the alzheimers. We look beyond the desease to see our mom, our friend. You think we can't cope with the truth, you taught us to be strong women, now let us to be strong for you. I'm not saying it's not sad when we see how far the desease has progressed, but if you let us in we can deal with it as a family, it is when you push us away that we stand there helpless to do anything. We all deal with your desease in different ways, we all can help you though this mom, let us help in the way we deal. You are so stuborn some times you think you still have to do everything by yourself, you don't realize letting people help does not make you weak, it shows courage, and trust that you can lean on us. some times we don't know what to do because we always seem to get it wrong. so we stand back and wait for you to say o.k. now you can help. life doesn't need to be any harder then it already is, enjoy life, let us make momories we can carry with us in the years to come, momories we can pull up like a movie playing in our brain to show us that we let you know exactly how much we love you and we did every thing we could to make this journey just a little bit more easier for you to live with.
you and daddy have taken care of so many kids in your lives, now is the time to just enjoy each other.

Dealing

I have to say that I am so excited that my mom has found this outlet for expression. I am glad momma has found some other people that she can share with, that can understand where she is coming from. We (I) don't always understand how to act or react. Maybe because I am the stubborn one that doesn't want to read about it (Alzheimers). I just keep saying that I will deal with it as it comes, why know ahead of time what we are going to deal with. I knew that momma was uncomfortable on Saturday when we went to painting classes. But she didn't need to be because to me it wasn't about how our pictures turned out, it was that I was there with my mom and daughter. It was a great experience and made for some good memories. I love you momma and am very proud of how you are trying to help others.

Coach Broyles

Coach Frank Broyles, athletic director for Univ. of Ark. lost his wife of 59 years to Alzheimer's last Oct. He has written a book, Coach Broyles' Playbook for Alzheimer's Caregivers: A Practical Tips Guide. Also he has included a poem I would like to post:

Do not ask me to remember.
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you,
To be with me at all cost.

Do not loss your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting.
I can't be different thought I try.

Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me,
Love me 'til my life is done.

-Author Unknown

If we were loving people before the disease why do people think we turn into these monsters after the disease have taken over. It is not US. IT IS THE DISEASE. Be upset with the disease not us. We are all we can be. Thanks "K" and "Jeanne" for your commments.

Very good advice..............

I went to a seminar and read a book by Jo Huey, Alzheimer's Disease: Help and Hope.
On the back cover are 10 absolute nevers.

1. Argue instead agree
2. Reason instead divert
3. Shame instead distract
4. Lecture instead reassure
5. Say remember instead reminisce
6. Say "I told you so" instead repeat-regroup
7. Say "You can't" instead do what they can
8. Command-Demand instead ask-model
9. Condescend instead encourage-praise
10. Force instead re-enforce

These are so true. I already get frustrated when I am confused are having problems with my thinking the last thing I need is someone to do any of the left handed things, it just makes things worse for me. As far as noise, it really makes me nervous and then gets me agitated. Some probably think I am trying to be a pain but it can really mess up my mind if things get busy or loud. I try to walk away when these things happen and stay to myself alot. It may get lonely at times but at least it is quiet. When several people are talking at the same time it confuses me because I can't follow any particular one talking, so I don't understand any of them. So if you see me shying away I am not trying to be unsocialable just trying to cope.

Week end

What does the sign say? Gone Fishing. That was me Sat. I caught a blue catfish that Jesse said weighed about 2 or so pounds. Yeah! It was reeling it in. Then Sunday after church we went to find a place to put the camper. We found this place that will let you park it there for a dollar everyday it is not plugged up and only charge for days plugged. Sounds good. Now we are looking for a boat to take down there and we will be all set. It is suppose to be the 2nd best white perch fishing in the nation. We will see.

The thing about forgetting it I usually forget what I forgot. That is the case this week end. I realized I had forgot or got something mixed up and I was going to remember to address it in my blog, but I forgot what it was. I do remember that it upset me when I went to painting class with Lynn and Chelsea, that I kept dropping the paint brush on my painting and making a mess. It would just slip out of my hand. Some things like that somehow I remember but little, I guess they are little, I forget. That is the reason, I don't like to be reminded when I forget something because I probably forgot what I forgot so I don't remember that I knew in the first place. Me gave me a chihuahua yesterday because I wanted a small dog to keep in the house to keep me company when Jesse is gone. I guess that is sorta what went on with me this week end. Take care and live one day at a time.

First of month

As usual for the 3rd of the month it has been very busy. I just realize today is the 4th. Oh well, yesterday and today both have been busy. That’s what I get for not looking at my calendar this morning. Which I probably did and forgot. Anyway, it has been busy running back and forth to Monroe which is about an hour drive from my house one way, both yesterday and today to tend to bills. I am finally rested up from my week end trip. Tomorrow I am going to a painting class with my middle daughter and granddaughter. Then Jesse, Chris and I are going fishing. Hoping they will be biting. But I sorta doubt it since it has rained for the last few days. A tornado hit near where I used to live in West Monroe last night Chris said. I haven’t heard of anyone hurt though. That is good. I have volunteered to help at the Alzheimer’s Association of Northeast Louisiana a few days a week in the library. They lady that was doing it moved to Mississippi to be close to her family. I thought it would be something for me to get out of the house and maybe learn more of behind the scenes of the association. I received a card from a nurse I worked with yearsssssssssssssssssss ago. She had read the article in the newspaper about me and EOAD. She said she was sorry. I know she meant well, but I want to tell her not to feel sorry for me. Pray for my family. I will be okay. It is them that I worry about. Oh well, guess I will close this for now. Hope you have a great week end.

Back home

Well, we are back. I am very tired. I have slept most of the day, and my brain is tired. We didn't catch any fish but its not from the lack of tiring. They just weren't biting. The little bream loved my bait and ate it all, which was fun to try and catch them but they are so fast. It still was relaxing just sitting there feeding them. It was a learning experience that we will do a few things a little different next time and be a little more prepared. This is going to be a crazy month with Chris's graduation, crawfish boil the day before Mothers Day, going to see a Bonnie and Clyde re-enactment. Hope to go fishing on Red River in Colfax. We will see. I wish my family could/would read some of the blogs of other people that are at or have been at the same place I am now with my Alzheimers to realize I am having problems with some of the same things like noise and following directions, etc. Can't think of all the things I noticed that I was having problems with this week end. Moma/grandma just ain't what she use to be. I am tired so I am going to cut this short. Nite.
Sue